A lot of you might be confused as to what is happening to me.
Truth is, I've been hurting and the heart's been going thru an emotional roller coaster ride.
It's so damn hard to face the truth sometimes because running away seems like the easier temporary way out.
Clinging on tightly to people/things that don't originally belong to you to make forgetting memories/letting go easier.
Sometimes, in the process of healing, you meet new people while trying to move on.
These people play a huge role in helping you get by, helping you be strong.
They might be there to stay, or not.
They might change your life, or not.
And sometimes, just sometimes, they might make you doubt your choices, your current life.
They might make you crave for a brighter and better future.
They might make you smile and laugh a little more, dream a little more, and be extra positive about your then sucky life/situation.
They might just know the right stuffs to say, they might be able to read your mind/expressions, they might make you feel weak in the knees and butterflies all over again.
But then, are they meant to stay?
When your life is down and full of crap, can you bear to let them be part of your shitty life?
To pull them into awkward and unexpected situations which might one day make them feel sad/uncomfortable?
To be that black spot in their ever bright future and ruin everything?
Even though when they say, "Hey, no, it's okay. Nothing of this sort."
Really?
Nothing?
People judge, people talk.
If you love someone, will you want them to be affected by things/situations that only should involve you?
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Love - it can be both a motivator and a destructor.
Loving someone not only means touching their naked body but also their soul.
You should know about their fears, know about the things they love.
You should know about their shortcomings, know about their desires.
You should know about things they long for, know about the things they hate.
You should know how they like their tea, and how they prefer to have their steak.
You should not know these through words from them but rather, discovery over the time spent together.
Loving means knowing when they need you the most.
Loving means knowing when you should give them space.
Loving means showering them with affection even when they are annoying as hell and this is the time when commitments/promises come in picture.
Don’t promise them the moon and the stars rather stay with them in their difficult times.
Love means staying in a partnership agreement with where you share everything equally but where you are always willing to give in more whenever needed.
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When I love, ironically, I run away.
I don't know a better way than to care anymore.
I don't know if staying or leaving is a better option, is a better answer to the many question marks.
I guess sometimes, love means you have to let go.
It’s a difficult thing to have to admit to yourself but sometimes, the person you are with might actually be happier without you in their life.
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Be happy, you. 😊
Love,
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