Being oneself / Duromine

Sometimes I find myself so beaten by everything around me.

Things I have to do, choices I have to make, decisions I have to consider.

So many times I find myself so overwhelmed by everything that is happening around me.

Trying too hard to portray the good sides of myself and finding it hard to swallow the negative and bad sides of myself.

It is so tiring having to be someone I'm not sometimes.....

The day before someone lectured me real hard in my face.

Not that this particular someone mattered but it really gave me some sort of a mini wake-up call.

She told me to cherish my family, my husband and criticised me for something that I did because I had to due to my work.

I wanted to tell her off - who is she to judge?

She barely knew me, besides seeing me once a week - how much more does she know enough to comment on me, my life?

She told me to know my priorities and do the right things.

I have always been good at managing things, myself and trying to balance everything.

What really pisses me off is this person really went overboard to say a lot of things to diss me.

You really don't know enough about me, lady.

But thanks to you - it did serve as a little reminder.

I do have a wonderful family and husband that I will cherish till the day I die.

---

Recently I've been fighting some stupid mood swings and depression that really almost killed me :(

Last week, the husband was away in Taiwan with his family (which explains my lack of activity + busy with TACT's upcoming launch) which made everything worst.

Emo level 1000000000%

I wanted to slim down like real fast and quick but really neglected exercise because I'm so so busy T.T 

So google became my best friend and TA-DA - I found my new "solution" :

DUROMINE

I was dying to slim down more to look slimmer for my upcoming photoshoot for #SLATEbyTACT, 

This pill acts as an appetite suppressant and I read that people who took this lost like 5 to 7 kgs over a week?!?

Do you know how crazy much that was?! :O

But honestly that was the worst decision I ever made. 

Duromine is mostly prescribed to the overweight/obese and reccomended to people of a certain BMI so there were only 2 ways to get it :

1) Overseas

2) Doctor's prescription

With my current BMI (18.6), I know I am not suitable to take Duromine and could be very dangerous but I still went ahead all out to try to get the pills using my own ways.

What was I thinking? 

Just try lor.

So now you ask me :

HOW MUCH WEIGHT DID I LOSE?

Just over 5 days, I lost 2kgs. 

See my face - literally sunken in and I looked super old and haggard.
Had to photoshop my face to fill up the hollow areas.

This was counted quite fast and even evident on my face as my face looks visibly skinnier (and older looking -.- as my sunken cheeks problem came back zzzz). 

I didn't even feel like eating (and even forgot to eat!) and just kept drinking water because I was suffering from a very bad side effect of having a dry mouth. 

But OH MY GOODNESS WHOEVER WHO TOOK DUROMINE FOR MORE THAN 5 DAYS, I SALUTE YOU.

I literally wanted to DIE.

I did a lot of research and I knew that there might be very extreme side effects, depending on each individual. 

The side effects I went through were : 

- dry mouth 

- feeling faint 

- giddiness 

- headache 

- vomitting 

- depressed (esp when the hubby is away)

 - insomnia (can't sleep for 3 nights straight) 

- feeling restless 

- slightly swelling feet 

- bad temper 

- easily agitated and depressed 

- heart pumping too fast at some points I thought I'm going to have a cardiac arrest

Anyway, if u think dry mouth is easy to overcome, IT IS NOT. 

You will feel like you are dying of thirst, that kind of feeling!!!!

Trying duromine was one of the worst things I have ever tried or done to myself. 

I used to be anorexic when I was 18 and pushed myself by working out like crazy and I thought that was the worst. 

Apparently not - DUROMINE IS. 

Now there are still some side effects lingering - like dry mouth, feeling faint, insomnia and I feel slightly depressed (like suddenly want to cry for no reason that kind).

I really need my life to get back on track and I'm trying hard to go back to working out to feel better about myself.

I've stopped taking duromine since last week. 

In total I lost two kgs but it's really no worth it. 

My body is still not toned, I just lost the weight. 

If anyone of you want to try this, I would say, DO NOT EVER.

Unless the doctor prescribed this to you and monitors your condition, please don't ever try it. 

I feel ashamed to have done this to myself and tried this, and now I'm working hard to cope with the terrible side effects.

I'm sorry if this has affected anyone around me since I've started taking these pills and for those that I didn't manage to meet because I was unwell, it's just because I'm still suffering from the side effects now and then.  

Please ask me anything if you wish to know and I will try my best to share with you. 

If you want to slim down, have to really do it the right way. 

If anything fatal happens, you will never get a chance to enjoy being slim anyway, right?

-----

For all those who have been really concerned about me, I'm really sorry to have caused you to worry about my well-being.

I will be better and I know I can do it! :D

I will be my happy self again, kicking the negativity and ill-feelings out.
Thank you so much for all the encouragements ❤

And thank YOU for reading (:

With love,

Aggy