Expectations lead to disappointments.

I let the other one go.
Because I know by holding on to him, to nothing, is hurting him.
And the last thing I want is to hurt him, because he's really nice to me.

I'm glad he's okay and we're friends.
Prolly he's feeling upset but he has to tell me he is okay even when he is not.
I just hope for the best for him right now, and I'll be there as a friend.
That's the most I can do.

-

A year ago I had so much hopes and expectations.
But it all went down to nothing.
Right now it's as though I'm facing the same situation as I did a year ago,
and with the same guy.
But he seems to care a lot for me now as compared to the past.

I have the urge to ask.
But seriously what for?
If it's a yes, I know it too soon, but we are not ready yet, the both of us,
then what's next?

If it's a no, I know it now and it's a cold hard truth slammed in my face when
I'm having a life that almost everything's good right now, am I finding something
to be sad about?

It's like a 50-50 thing right now.
A yes or a no.
Or even perhaps, a don't know.

Sometimes I think he does like me but sometimes not.
But what L said makes sense - he is trying to use time to prove that he's changed.
But I also feel there might be a possibility that he is being nice now because
he felt sorry about what happened a year ago.

So right now, I think this is what I'm gonna do.
Whatever happens, I shall guard my heart.
Why am I even upset when I dont know the truth yet?

And he is right - I can look forward to the trip.
I think right now the two most important thing is to get done with the trip
and also my piano exam.

Whatever else happens,it's a bonus I guess.
I wont habour anymore hopes so high that will leave me crashing so hard like
how it did a year ago.

I was crying like a baby, feeling helpless because of this word, LOVE.
Now I learn.
I stand strong, I'd be brave and I know even if it doesnt happen at least I
have other priorities and other important people in my life that are worth it.

I wont cry so easily anymore.
Agnes, be brave.